Top Ten Things
Not to Say When
Your Wife is in Labor
by R.C. Sproul Jr.

10. Hey, what's on ESPN?

9. You don't mind if I smoke, do you, dear?

8. Did you know Katie has her babies at home?

7. I can't wait for you to have the baby, so you'll be skinny again.

6. What's a five-letter word, meaning work, with a b for the third letter?

5. Man, I love burgers from Wendy's. How are your ice chips?

4. I need to call the office for a phone meeting.

3. Do you have any idea how much an epidural costs?!?

2. Man, eighteen hours so far. I need a nap. Wake me if anything important happens.

1. Remember the last time, how much it hurt right there at the end?