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(From the July/August 2002 issue of Every Thought Captive)
Top Ten Excuses for
Being Late to Church
by R.C. Sproul Jr.
10. I started reading ETC on the potty and I just
lost track of the time.
9. I couldn't hear my "Resounding Trumpet" clock
alarm because I was up all night reading Left Behind.
8. I was listening to Harold Camping on the radio and he
ran late.
7. I drove all the way here at 5 miles per hour so my car
wouldn't do much damage in the event of the rapture.
6. The service ran late last week, so I figured you owed
me a few minutes.
5. I stopped at Barnes & Noble to pick up Joey Pipa's
book on the Sabbath.
4. The dog ate my wife's head covering.
3. Why are you bothering me about this? I have peace in
my spirit about it.
2. The alarm didn't go off because we turn off the electricity
at midnight. We don't want to encourage the heathens at the electric company
to break the Sabbath.
1. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to gather up
all the eggs my chickens laid.
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