Hating Our Brother
by Laurence Windham

I have become a stranger to my brothers, and an alien to my mother's children. Because zeal for your house has eaten me up. Do you remember the first time you read in the gospels about Jesus' mother and brothers showing up while He was teaching a large audience? Someone in the crowd tells Jesus that they are outside wanting to speak with Him. Do you remember His shocking answer? "Who is My mother and who are My brothers? For whosoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother." (Matthew 12:48-50) Or do you remember the first time you came across some of the high costs we are to consider as we contemplate becoming a disciple of Christ? Remember how he told us that he came not to bring peace but a sword and that the enemies of the disciple will be from their own household, that He came to separate mother and daughter, father and son? Strange and hard these passages were to us as new believers. But thanks to those who are mature who have it all to us. No, Jesus isn't here abrogating the fifth commandment. No, He isn't actually saying to hate your brother or aunt or father-in-law. All you need to do is make sure you love Jesus a little more, and everything will be fine. That sounds so nice and copacetic, but would such a position actually cause us to make enemies? Does that sound like bringing a sword to you?

It would seem that these passages are telling us that we are living our lives so differently (i.e. by gospel standards) that the results are conflict with our own kin. Not that this is the goal; rather it is the fallout we endure and deal with because of the goal, that being pleasing God with our lifestyle. Jesus shifted His loyalty form earthly family to eternal family. Those wwho do the will of My Father are my Family, He said, while His immediate family waited outside. There is a lesson here for us. Our love and loyalty is not only to Jesus but also to the household of faith. (Think about all of those one another passages in the New Testament.) And to eternal family values.

Doubtless you have heard it said that it is the Gospel, not us, that is to be offensive to the unregenerate. No friend, it si us. We are new creations that are supposed to be living a whole different way. That is the sword that divides - the Gospel transforming us. How is this manifested in the Christian's life? Again, our identity with and love for our fellow Christians is evidence. This the one thing Jesus said would get the attention of the world. Our love for one another should be spoken out loud and demonstrated constantly by our actions. Our purpose to glorify God in all that we do is communal in its nature. We cannot do it on our own. We should naturally desire fellowship with our spiritual family. Our camaraderie should be based on our desire to please God. The esprit de corp of the redeemed should be second to none.

There should be a major paradigm shift in raising and conducting our families. My wife and I are friends with a newlywed couple who were constantly receiving trouble from one of the moms. I told the husband that they should give the unregenerate mother an ultimatum: We want you in our lives and in the lives of the children we hope to have. Love us, support our new union or leave us alone altogether, period. My friend has the responsibility to protect his family from emotional harm. And he has his new Christian family to help him. Another friend of mine laments the holiday family traditions of consumerism, personality conflicts, and travel. I told him that he should, as head of his home, begin holy day family traditions that could include unregenerate members of their family, but on his terms, not theirs. After all, he has a responsibility before God to lead his wife and children in the paths of godliness, not in compliance to sentimental affections of others outside the faith to the traditions of the spirit of the age.

Doubtless you have heard it said that it is the Gospel, not us, that is to be offensive to the unregenerate. No friend, it is us. We are new creations that are supposed to be living a whole different way. That is the sword that divides the Gospel transforming us. How is this manifested in the Christians life? Again, our identity with and love for our fellow Christians is evidence. This is the one thing Jesus said would get the attention of the world. Our love for one another should be spoken out loud and demonstrated constantly by our actions. Our purpose to glorify God in all that we do is communal in its nature. We cannot do it on our own. We should naturally desire fellowship with our

Jesus told the crowd His family wasn't outside wanting to talk to Him, but inside wanting to listen to Him. Those outside the faith but inside the family should be aware of our loyalty to fellow believers. They should always be prayed for, respected, and loved. But our living out the gospel should be such that they always feel outside something they don't understand instead of being made to think by our compromise that all we have is a little religion. A little religion is not the same as a sword.

Family is important. Regenerate or not But the world views of these two are not compatible and subsequently neither are their lifestyles. Our witness as salt and light begins at home. It begins with a new family, and often, sadly, a division from the present one.