Smoke 'Em if You Got 'Em
Smoke 'Em if You Got 'Em
Welcome to one of the new pages of Every Thought Captive. In this column we will endeavor to share ideas with you on how we all may practice what we preach. You will be sure to find a heavy Puritan influence here as well as instruction from the Church fathers and other Christian sages. Prayer, meditation, journaling, correspondence, Bible study, and family worship are just some of the areas that we plan on covering. This column will focus on the "how to's" of the Reformed Christian life. We hope you benefit from the practical instructions that will be covered on this page.
The finer things in life are not enjoyed by most people. And it is not because the best is inaccessible but rather the majority goes for the second and third rate ripoffs of the best. Take for instance a recent incident involving my good friend Matthew Gross, a scholar, below average dart player, and no non-sense Christian. He was talking to a friend of his regarding this very subject. After extolling the virtues of deep, rich coffee roasts and blends as opposed to the mainstream brands, the fuller more satisfying taste of imported beers that cheap American beer cannot match, and the robust delight that premium cigars have over and above cigarettes, his friend dismissed his logic and wisdom by stating that discrimination doesn't matter. To which Matt replied, "Well, if it doesn't matter, then just date ugly girls!" I thought that brought the point all the way home.
Cigars are a great pleasure for several reasons. The first is that to smoke a cigar you have to have time. The average time to smoke a premium stogie is 45 minutes to an hour and a half. This is based on the size of the cigar and the amount of conversation you are having. If alone, the time allotted allows for quiet reflection, good reading or writing articles. There are no cigar breaks at work and very few people commute far enough to fire one up. So, to smoke a cigar you have to find the time. In a letter to his parents, Greshem Machen, a great theologian and the founder of both Westminster Seminary and the Orthodox Presbyterian Church, stated on reflection of his college years that his one regret was that he had not participated in smoking with his fellows. He remarks that the fellowship that his peers enjoyed in the smoking rooms was something that he envied. The main reason this is so is that a cigar takes time and the only thing that makes the smoke better is when you are joined by others who see the worth of setting aside the time too.
Another reason that cigars are a worthy indulgence is the taste. Hard to believe? Probably because there are a lot of cheap cigars out there. And all of them taste like, like uh ...poop. The best cigars, arguably, are Dominicans that cost $5-$15 dollars. You can pay more for a good smoke but as Dan Wright, RTS-Orlando's resident afficionado has stated, "You cannot convince me that a $30 cigar is going to be 3 times better than a $10 cigar. And I believe he is Dan Wright. Of course if you are fortunate enough to get a Cuban cigar, they are very good. But not very accessible. Some of the better cigars I have had are: La Unica, Ashton, Fuente, H. Upman, La Gloria Cubanna, and Casa Blanca. All of these are fine, smooth tasting Dominicas. If you want something a little spicier, get the same brands in a cameroon wrapper if possible or cured (These are called maduro).
Now let's get to the mechanics of this great past time. To begin with you have to cut the end of the cigar that goes into your mouth. The proprietor of the store you purchase your cigars from will gladly do this for you. If you wait until later there are two ways to do this; one is to buy a cutter from the store when you get your cigars. These run from $2 - $8000 but all of them essentially perform the same task. The other way is to follow the intrepid Rich Lambert's method of just biting the end off. In some settings this may not be socially proper but it is manly just the same. Carefully cut the whole circumference of the end with your front teeth, then and only then bite completely through the cigar. You don't want to tear the leaf that wraps and holds the cigar intact. Now the disposal of the end piece of the cigar in your mouth is dictated by your present situation. If camping with some friends you may want to see how far you can spit it, if at a dinner party or on the sun deck of your boss's home this might not be appropo.
To light your cigar any source of fire will do. People use everything from a burning branch out of the fire to Zippo lighters (which are cool because you can click them open and whip closed). I have found wood matches to be the best igniter. They are cheap and sometimes free depending on the restaurant you have recently dined in. Be sure to let all the sulfer burn off the head of the match before you present it to the end of the cigar. Then just make sure the center of the ad of the cigar is glowing red when you take a draw and you re ready to smoke. Remember, do not inhale. You are a smoker, not a sucker.
A beverage is a good accompaniment. I have enjoyed everything from brandy to cream soda with cigars. Just make sure the drink doesn't take away from the cigar. But of course the best thing to have with your cigar is a friend or two.
Here is time well spent. Some of the best conversations of my life have started with the strike of a match.