Children Values
by R.C. Sproul Jr.

Laurence is not the only one having a birthday this month. My two oldest children, Darby and Campbell will be 4 and 2 respectively November 17 and 21. Shannon's third month "birthday" will fall right in between, on the 19th. I have three children, and just as I wrote "96" on my checks into April of this year, I'm having a hard time getting used to the idea.

Though some of you have been asking already, no news on a fourth just yet. I will keep you posted. When I travel different places to speak my hosts invariably ask for a bio on me. Then, as I wait to address the crowd, the host stands and gives a catalogue of my work. Partly it's embarrassing. But partly it makes me mad. You see they talk about the Study Center, about Tabletalk, about my books. But rarely do they tell the crowd what matters most to me about me, that I am a husband and father.

I try to correct the problem. It is my practice, when I'm giving a lecture to pause somewhere near the middle, take a picture of my family from my Bible and say something like this, "Though this isn't directly related to my point, and though you can't see it real well, this is my family. I pause to mention that because I miss them." And then I go on with my lecture.

Children matter. They are important. We seem, however, to make one of two mistakes with children. With some of us, they are the center of all that we do. Our only joy is to have our children be happy. We embark on a quest not to make our children holy, but to make them well adjusted. We can't take the time to visit with out neighbors, because we have to whisk Johnny off to practice. We think that by making our children the center of our attention that they will feel secure, and learn to be kind to others, that by giving and giving they will learn to give. The reality is the opposite. Make a child the center of attention and his or her life will be consumed with remaining the center of attention. Model giving to them, and they learn to receive.

The other mistake, of course, is to ignore our children. We want our children to learn to be survivors. We dare not be over-protective, lest "the real world" consume them (better a consumer than a consumee). We let NBC, or Adventures in Odyssey babysit them, and shuttle them from sitter to sitter so we can get on with our lives. We foist independence on them, rather than doing the dirty work of training them for it.

Children, however, are important for two reasons. The first is that they bear God's image. They have value because God assigned them value. But that value is not intrinsic or inherent. It comes from God, and is given for a very simple, but overlooked reason. Because our value derives from God, we are not ultimately ends but means. That is we were made a little lower than the angels not for our glory but for His. Children are valuable because they are little worshippers. If we do not lead our children into worship (and I use the term here in its broadest sense, a life which honors God), then we lead them into insignificance, no matter how much we praise them for knocking a homerun, or getting an A on a test.

We worship a God of families. He covenants with families. He adopts us into His family. And children are a welcome addition to families, neither the center, nor an optional add on to be turned off and on when convenient. They are a blessing, but a blessing which is to be trained to honor the Giver of the blessing. They are to join the family circle as we gather to sing the praise of Him who holds the circle together.