Safe at Home
by Denise Sproul

There is only one place of rest on the baseball diamond. Yes, you can stop and sort of rest at 1st, 2nd or 3rd, but it is a temporary stop. You are still in danger. Only at home are you truly safe. In this most logical, understandable and enjoyable of all team sports, that phrase 'safe at home' is used to describe the ultimate goal of the game. For us as wives and mothers, it also describes the goal for our game.

There is a fundamental difference between biblical Christianity and feminism. Where are you safer - out in the world or in your own home? For married women, at home we are safe in the presence of our own man (as Monique Dewey would say,"THE MAN"). We are under the care of a man who covenanted to love us sacrificially and who is the authority in the home. Thank the Lord that though it may be very rough at times because of our sinful natures (and no, I am not saying "because of our husbands' sinful natures" because regardless of how he fails, we are still called to submit) we have it much easier than if God had called us to submit to all men. Outside the home we are in the presence of men and under the authority of men (particularly in jobs) who have made no such vow of sacrificial love - men who either want our labor or delicately put, want us.

Staying at home we are actually safer from ourselves. Eh? We are free from the temptation of self-glorification, of seeking to be man-pleasers, because we are about the business of helping our husbands. Out in the world we are trying to establish our own separate (not covenantal) identity, trying to make our own place in the world. This is probably part of what Paul means
when he says we are saved in childbirth. He is not talking about redemption through Christ, but protection we have by having children that give us very real and important work to do. We are rescued from the temptation of feeling we have missed our calling. We know that our husbands and children need us and it is a holy work God has given us to do. As difficult as life can be with our mentally disabled daughter Shannon, I frequently thank God for her, partly because I know she keeps me many times from being distracted by things God would not smile upon. Her physical needs alone are very demanding and probably will be for the rest of my life. I have to walk closely with the Lord and keep my focus on what He would have me do - there simply isn't time for anything else!

At home we are also safer from other women. I'm not talking about not having to worry about them decking us, but about the safety of not being surrounded by competitors for our husband's attention and affection. We certainly need to pray for our husbands - that their thoughts and deeds would be pure - but God has not given us the task of going out into the world and defending them from other women. Out in the world we can easily be roped (really with no coercion) into a sense of competition with other women, either in terms of our work, or in terms of our beauty.

We are safer from God when we are at home. We of course can never hide from Him, but we can escape His wrath by doing what He has commanded. Titus 2 clearly states that we are to be keepers at home; those outside the kingdom earn His wrath when they do not keep the home. Those inside the kingdom who neglect this duty invite His chastening hand. When we stay and exercise dominion where He has called us, we invite His blessing (note: we don't earn it or deserve it, but He is often gracious to give it).

Not only are we safer at home, but in some sense we ought also to labor to make our homes safe places for our husbands. Since his conquest and calling is outward, outside the home, we should make our homes gardens, places of beauty and rest. This emphasizes our work as managers of our homes. We keep the home fires burning (getting the new vacuum cleaner fixed for the fourth time in a year) so that he has less labor to do on the home front. He has not been called to start the home fires and continually fan them. He certainly does have responsibilities in the home (i.e. "man's work" and raising godly children with our help) but if we are managing things well at home he has less labor there and more time for his outward calling or vocation. I know that I am abusing my husband's willingness to help me if my laziness or lack of a firm constitution keep him from doing the work God has called him to do.

Even more important in making the home safe for our husbands is what we call Rule #2: Peace in Our House. (Some other time, if you're interested, I'll tell you Rule #1.) We do not make our homes safe for our husbands when we constantly harp on them. We have to check that curse from the garden, where our desire will be for our husbands (meaning that we want to be in charge). Kindly asking our husbands about certain things we'd like to do or suggesting some things that need attention in the home or family, if done politely, meekly and infrequently is very different from the teaching in Proverbs warning about nagging women. Do you really want your husband to feel like he is safer living on the corner of your roof than beside his nagging wife?

The home is also a safer place for our children, if we are striving through the help of the Holy Spirit to be godly parents. No one should be more zealous for their godliness than we, so this is where they are most safe. So root, root, root for the home team; if they don't win it's a shame.