Home Improvement
by Laurence Windham

We enjoy the feedback that we receive from our readers. We are delighted that a good number of you are like-minded with us on many of the issues that we write about in Every Thought Captive. We have met some of you that like us a whole bunch and, well, that makes us feel rather special. During this time of mutual admiration, we have come to discover that your families are some of the best that we have ever met. With that in mind, I thought I might share with you some of the things your pals here in Shangri-La do or have done to make family life all the more sweet. All of these ideas have come from us talking to each other around the dining table after a meal together or while sitting on the front porch or the like. After you read this column, why not write us with your suggested additions to this list?

Get Mom some help. If you have been blessed with numerous children as some of us have, it is only wise and natural to have some extra help around the house in the areas of cleaning, cooking, teaching, and child care. Stay at home mothers are of the essential elements to a new reformation. They work harder than most people and they should be given help and a break from time to time. So, if you can afford to hire some one to come in and do some of the cleaning, or watch the children for part of a day and let mom get out for a while-do it. If you cannot afford it, then ask for volunteers. Or perhaps you know a woman you could personally help. We have been blessed by friends who have called us and told my wife not to cook on a certain evening because they were going to drop off a meal. What a nice break. What a wonderful idea!

Get rid of the toys. No, not all of them. But most children have way too many. You and your kids spend a lot of time just picking them up! Let them learn now, instead of when they're our age, that ownership, whether of toys or homes, goes both ways. We are owned by what we own. So, evaluate the benefit derived by each doll, game, light saber, etc. The result is less clutter, more imagination, and higher values.

Read together. Husband and wife that is. (I assume that you already do this with your children.) Choose a decent bestseller, Bible commentary, one of the classics, etc. (yeah, there's an idea, read ETC together.) and read this with your spouse. What this does is give you both something to discuss other than ordinary happenstance. You both grow in your understanding at the same time. You will be amazed how rewarding this practice is. Take your time. Take turns reading. Talk about it.

Talk to your children. Be sure there are plenty of occasions that you look each of your children in the eyes and purposely say something to them. This is huge! You will see them radiate with assurance and security! The response is almost always a lightning hug. They need this from both parents often. Our children should be the most confident, well adjusted and loved children on the planet. Beware of covetousness. Contentment with what you have transforms every home into a castle, every meal to a feast and every day into a holiday. You will hear birds singing, you will witness miracles daily and your cup will be full and running over. Discontent brings leanness in your soul. There is no recognition of God's grace in your life. Nothing satisfies for long. Go on a search and destroy mission in your life. Rid yourself of catalogs, magazines, TV programming, relationships, thought patterns, routines, etc. that enable this sin to be present in your life. The result will be instant wealth; in that you will be grateful for what you have, realizing that you don't really deserve even this. As a wise blueberry once learned, a grateful heart is a happy heart.

Pray with your wives. This goes beyond family worship. In the quietness of the bedroom, when all the children are asleep, this practice brings closure to the day as well as prepares you for the morrow. There is a final acknowledgement of God's sovereignty and grace in your lives. This is an excellent reminder of why we do what we do all day long. And your wife needs this. She will praise you for your faithfulness in this area. Peace in the home. Our home should be a sanctuary. A retreat from the world. We should enjoy our time at home more than any place on earth (except, maybe, corporate worship). How is this done? A few suggestions: 1. Have designated quiet hours in the house where children are still and music is played low. 2. Keep the house as orderly as possible. It is so hard to relax when there is disorder. 3. Have a set time to discuss with your spouse the needs, plans, bills, to-do-lists, etc. that are familiar in every household. This is better than spreading these items out all through the evening.

Prepare for the Lord's Day. Too often, getting ready for church on Sunday morning is rushed. This is not conducive to the right heart preparation for worship. So, going to bed at a decent hour on Saturday night is important. You might also want to lay out the children's clothes the night before. You know what it is like trying to find that missing shoe or misplaced Bible at the last minute!

I know none of the content of this article is revelatory. But such doesn't mean the suggestions aren't wise. But these simple reminders and suggestions speak to where we live each day. I have found that it is the little things left undone that effect our lives in a big way.