Hi Dad, I'm Home
by Jay Barfield

The odd title above refers to an article I wrote for ETC a couple of years ago. I wrote that, after our first visit to the good folks at Saint Peter Presbyterian Church from our (then) home in Alabama, I felt homesick for a place where I had never lived. I waxed on ad nauseam about this bunch of reformed zealots in southwest Virginia. I regaled their scriptural and organic view of family life, homeschooling, hospitality, community and worship. Well, I'm home now. We relocated to Virginia in August. My main purpose here is to study and train under R.C. and Laurence for the pasroral ministry after almost three years of prayer, study, and counsel from the elders of my church. Why here? They don't even have a building of their own. Don't they have seminaries for that sort of thing? Well, yes and no. They do have seminaries, but not for this sort of thing.

The majority of qualifications for the office of elder are domestic, not academic or theological. Hence, the preparation of a pastor is primarily (but not exclusively) the same as the preparation of any man to be a godly husband or father. Some of the activities of a husband and father are teaching, training, prayer, study, exhortation, compassion, admonishment, and discipline. Some of the activities of a pastor/shepherd of a flock of believers are&$133; uh… teaching, training, prayer, study, exhortation, compassion, admonishment, and discipline. List looks familiar. doesn't it? When I feed my wife and six children food around the table, I must also feed them from God's Word. Neglect of either is starving them. A pastor's calling is the same. He feeds them from the word of God, then brings them to the Lord's table. Neglect of either is likewise starving them. The parallels of pastoring a flock and leading a family are too many to exhaustively list here.

I acknowledge that there are some unique areas of training in systematic and pastoral theology, hermeutics, and other areas relatively specific to the pastor, since he is required to be apt to teach. There are also some ecclesiastical peculiarities that a pastor must be literate in as a functioning member of a presbytery. However, the bulk of the training and preparation that should go on is domestic in its focus. A good and faithful shepherd of a home and family will be better trained to be a shepherd of a flock of believers than one whose training has been solely theological, with an anemic home life. The ranks of pastors (and, sadly, former pastors) are rife with men whose systematic theology is well-ordered, but their lives are shipwrecks. While in the decision process as to whether I was called to the pastoral ministry, an older minister told me the drug of choice for pastors—Prozac. Depression and intense frustration are at epidemic levels among evangelical pastors. Friends, this should not be. Pastors with weak, disordered home lives are scripturally unfit for their office as shepherds of the church.

Unfortunately, the integrated aspect of this preparation has been largely missed or ignored by the pastoral preparation machine known as the Modern Evangelical Seminary. The seminary, at most, is to give theological training and support to the local church, who can supply pastoral direction and accountability for men who are moving in this direction. The local church is the ecclesiastical institution biblically charged with the preparation and development of men to lead families and pastor churches. Unfortunately, it is the rare church that is faithful in this calling. A young man's family, while not an ecclesiastical institution, is the critical front line in this. Parents lead the training process for manhood, when properly done, from day one. A seminary, which is a parachurch ministry in every sense of the word, is not in an authoritative position biblically or practically to provide this type of accountability and preparation at the level required.

I came to Saint Peter instead of relocating to a typical seminary, because they are explicitly seeking to integrate the domestic and theological aspects of training in a balance that reflects the heart of Scripture. They see that strong, godly families make strong, godly churches, and strong, godly men make strong, godly families. In addition, I came here because of the high view and attention that they give to ordered, fervent, biblical corporate worship that glorifies God. I am seeing first hand the redemptive influence that the people of Saint Peter are having on not only their own immediate and extended families, but on their neighbors and the communities where they live. I will be supplementing my practical training here with distance learning courses from Whitefield Theological Seminary, who also understands the primacy of the local church in the preparation process, and explicitly seeks to work within that framework. My pastors are my mentors. Wherever God eventually places me. I believe with all my heart that I will be more fully prepared to be a shepherd of a flock of believers because I am here—raising my family, studying God's word, asking questions, being a good neighbor, showing and enjoying hospitality with my fellow parishioners, worshipping, gathering around the Lord's table. Life is my main classroom.

If you are a young man preparing for adulthood, don't obsess exclusively about your livelihood or vocation—prepare yourself to be a godly husband and father. If you are a young man preparing for the pastoral ministry, don't obsess exclusively about your theological credentials—prepare yourself to be a godly husband and father. It will carry you a lot further, and do a lot more good for the growth of God's kingdom than any other activity you could pursue.